


Independence Day

by Avalonia



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Post Breaking Dawn, Snark Galore, Uninvited Sparkling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1748312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avalonia/pseuds/Avalonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OK, so I kinda hated Breaking Dawn.  But the one thing that was really great about it was Leah Clearwater, so this 3 chapter mini series is my tribute to her.  It covers what really happened the night Leah left the pack, continues when she unexpectedly bonds with the last person she could have ever imagined, and culminates in a long awaited confrontation with Sam and Emily.  </p>
<p>Feedback and constructive criticism greatly appreciated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Independence Day

My mother was sobbing, sitting at the scratched dining room table, and the sound filled me with a mixture of heartache and annoyance. It was strange, awkward, watching her be vulnerable on this level. Normally, she was like me, my mother. Always the strong exterior, the poker face...rarely did she let anyone see her grief. Even when my father died she saved her tears for behind closed doors and the darkest hours between midnight and dawn when we weren't supposed to hear her. And now, here she was, red-eyed, blotchy, nose running, eyes streaming, falling apart as Billy held her hand, his wheelchair taking up half the tiny dining room, and Sam and I looked on from the doorway.

Mixed in with the pain I felt for her was a hiss of impatience. All this hand wringing because my stubborn, stupid, Jacob worshipping, blood-sucker befriending baby brother had decided to leave the flock and throw his lot in with the outcast? She had to know he was going to be OK. Jacob would take care of him - he'd be surprised to hear it, but I had utter faith that he'd lay down his own life before he let anything happen to Seth. And besides, those parasites liked my little brother...they were probably throwing him a welcome party even as we spoke.

"How could you let this happen?" My mother suddenly demanded. For the tiniest second I felt a bit of a thrill that she was going to rake Sam over the coals for letting her baby defect, until I realized her eyes were locked on me.

"Excuse me?" I blurted out. "How could I let this happen? How was I supposed to stop it? I'm not the Alpha; I couldn't order Seth to stay! Plus I didn't even know that he could just leave like that!"

"None of us knew." Sam took over now, his voice pacifying, even as his hollow eyes burned with the depth of his heartache over his broken pack. "I'm so sorry, Sue. I thought only Jacob would be able to break off like that. I didn't realize... I should have done more...if I had known I could have - " He stopped, shaking his head.

"I understand, Sam. You did your best." Mom wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath. She would have to go and be all understanding towards him, when it was his high-handedness that drove Seth away. Meanwhile, she glared at me like I'd committed some kind of crime and all I'd done was have the misfortune to be there.

Sam turned to me. "Leah, I know you probably want to be with your mom at a time like this, but we need you. Everyone's got to be out full force patrolling tonight. As soon as possible, we'll need to re-group and decide what our next move is."

I shrugged and moved towards the door. "'Fine. Let's go."

Sam hesitated. "I need to uh...I need to go home first, let Emily know what's going on. I don't want her to worry any more than is necessary."

Whatever, Sam. I can't stay with my mother but when it comes to you, let's just put everything on hold; forget about Jacob and Seth, destroying the monster spawn that Bella is carrying, and the impending vampire/werewolf war over it. God forbid your precious Emily be forced to endure a single second of strife.

I was glad Sam couldn't hear my thoughts at the moment. Not that I shied away from letting any of the pack experience every single bit of my bitterness, but this smacked of a level of pettiness that was low, even for me. My cousin had endured more than her share of strife through all this. Emily may have gotten Sam, she may have gotten the life that I was supposed to be living, but we all knew exactly how much she'd suffered for it. Despite everything, I felt sick, guilty even, every time I saw her scarred face. Maybe if I could have been more generous, more self sacrificing, not so devastated by Sam's love for her, she wouldn't have resisted him so hard. Maybe it never would have had to happen. God, it sucked that I had to feel crappy about her pain instead of just hating her for causing mine.

Sucked even more that I still kind of hated her anyway.

I looked up to see Sam watching me. His face held that irritatingly familiar mixture of pity and guilt, the one it wore so often that he should get a patent for it. I was so sick of seeing that look. Sometimes I dreamed about clawing it off of him, giving him some scars to match his fiancee's. Undoubtedly though, he'd just find a way to blame himself for that too and it would suck all the enjoyment out of the whole thing.

"What are you waiting for?" I snapped at him. "Go do whatever you have to do. I don't need an escort."

Sam sighed and headed towards the door with a nod for my mother and Billy, and then was gone.

I turned back to the kitchen table to see Mom was still staring at me.

"What now?" I demanded. She seriously wasn't going to start lecturing me about my attitude towards Sam again, not tonight of all nights, was she?

"What now?" Mom's face turned purple with the effort to control herself - I knew it was only Billy's presence that was keeping her from completely melting down. "Seth is out there, alone! You have to go after him, Leah! He's your little brother. You should have taken better care of him. It's your responsibility more than any of theirs! " Her voice was hoarse. "You have to bring him back."

"Sue, think about what you're saying." Billy objected before I could speak. "It isn't any safer for Leah to go after Seth on her own then it was for Seth to go after Jacob!"

Mom frowned for a few moments, clearly looking for a way to argue, but what could she say, really? The truth? That she'd happily sacrifice me in the quest to get her baby boy back? No, of course she'd never say that because it would be admitting out loud something that she was in total denial about. Like everyone didn't know already that she preferred Seth to me, always had. My father had too, when he was still alive. No wonder I had let my whole world revolve around Sam when we were together. He was my first and only taste of pure, real love, the only person who ever wanted me above anyone else. I'd been hooked on his passionate love, his acceptance of me; had never realized how dangerous addiction was until the day I lost my fix forever.

My night was shitty enough as it was; I didn't want to stick around waiting for Mom to drum up another reason for me to go and get myself killed. I spun around and headed for the door. "Gotta go, Mom. I don't know when I'll be home."

"Leah!" Mom stood up from the table and I turned back to her with a resigned sigh, waiting for her to tear into me once more.

I couldn't blame her, really. I know how it must have seemed to her, like I didn't care at all that Seth was gone. I hesitated a moment. For once, I wished my ability to be comforting, to say the right thing, hadn't dried up along with all my dreams. "Mom...look, I'll do what I can. You know, for Seth."

She nodded, her lips pressed firmly together, whether from disapproval or to keep more tears back, I didn't know. I went out the door without another glance back.

Once outside, I didn't head towards the forest to phase right away. Instead, I walked around the back of the house, so neither of them would see me if they happened to glance out the window, and leaned against the dirty whitewashed wood. I needed this, just a few minutes to myself to think about all the new ways in which my life sucked even more now. The pack was torn. Jacob was gone. My brother was gone. No matter what anyone thought, I would grieve for them both. Jacob was the only one who didn't pity me anymore, who was never afraid to tell me to go to hell. The only one who had ever come close to understanding the pain that I had to live with every day. I was going to miss that. And Seth....what was I going to do without Seth? We weren't close like we had once been, and it didn't take a genius to figure out whose fault that was, but I needed him. Didn't the stupid kid realize that? That he was the only one I could still count on, the one person in this world who loved me unconditionally, no matter what? How could he abandon us for Jake's lovestricken mission of mercy? How could he just leave me behind like I was nothing to him?

Impatiently, I wiped away the tears that had leaked from beneath my closed lids. I didn't want to be blubbering right before I went on patrol; it would be just about impossible not to think about and the last thing I needed was more cloying pity from the others. It wasn't hard to turn my thoughts away; I thought now about everything had happened, the reason why our pack had fractured in the first place. The same reason why pretty much anything went wrong around here these days. It could all be summed up in two words: Bella Swan. Or Cullen. Like I cared what name she was going by now. All I cared about was that that insipid, pale faced drama queen had managed yet again to bring total disaster down on our heads. Leave it to her to get knocked up with some life sucking defying parasite. And then Jacob, who had been just fine with throwing down with the Cullens over her when he thought she'd become a vampire did a complete 180 and decided she and her demon spawn had to be protected. From us. It just freaking figured.

So now we were divided. And maybe we wouldn't fight, at least not now, but it was inevitable, wasn't it? From what Jacob had shown us, it wouldn't be long before the thing was completely baked and ready to come out. We would have to act soon, and when we did, there would be a battle the likes of which our ancestors had never imagined, brother against brother.

Brother against sister.

I didn't want to be part of this. I didn't want to fight my brother. I didn't want to fight Jacob. I didn't even want to kill Bella and her evil, mutant spawn.

I stopped, shocked in place for a minute by that realization. Wait a second...I didn't? Seriously? I hated Bella Swan . And despite the fact that I really wasn't down with killing humans, I still should be jumping at the chance to make her whining, manipulative mouth shut. the. hell. up. for all of eternity. And, thanks to Sam, I'd get a total pass on having to feel guilty about it too. In fact, for once, I'd probably be the hero of the pack if I was the one who took her out and spared the rest of them from having to face Jacob afterwards. My own mother might even be proud of me. So why was I not wanting to make the most of this golden opportunity?

I stayed there for a moment, mulling it over, ignoring the faint howls from the forest telling me to hurry up. Did I not want to kill Bella because Seth liked her? Because it would destroy Jacob? Well...that was a part of it, I had to admit. But there was more...I didn't want to kill Bella because...oh good Lord...I felt kinda bad for her. Of all the rotten luck, to be pregnant with some impossible, unnatural leech baby. Worse to love it, to want to protect it, especially when that went against all that was rational. When everyone you knew was against you. I knew what it was like to love someone...something you shouldn't. I definitely knew how impossible it was to stop. If I was in her shoes, what would I do? Did I even have to ask? I'd fight...I'd fight like hell for my child. No matter what the consequences.

Gah, what the hell was I thinking? I could never be in her shoes. What a disgusting turn of events. That miserable excuse for a human being was going to unleash a demon baby on the whole town and I was feeling all kinds of empathetic towards her. This had to be some kind of sick cosmic joke. Besides, I didn't get a choice. I was part of the pack. I would end up doing what Sam wanted. Whether I liked it or not, my will was his.

I didn't want to think about this anymore...none of it. I just wanted to run, and forget. Too bad I'd have to listen to the rest of them going on about it all night long.

I moved away from the wall, and then I headed for the trees. As soon as I was out of sight I stripped down as fast as possible, bundling my clothes into the small pouch and attaching it to my leg. With a sigh, I straightened up and then I was running, and as I ran I felt it...the heat, starting from my toes, rushing through my body, instinct taking over, and then it exploded out of me, changing me, and I was on all fours, flying.

Voices immediately echoed in my brain, irritated questions about where I'd been, the continuation of conversations that had already been going before I'd joined them, whispers and quiet despair over our lost members. I tried to block it all out but Sam's voice cut across them all, burning into me, impossible to ignore.

_We were starting to worry, Leah. Is everything ok?_

_Fine_. I bit back what I really wanted to say. _I was just...thinking._

No one asked what I was thinking about - none of them wanted to know. As if they had any option other than to hear it anyway. And since I couldn't get them out of my head, I might as well make them most of it, right?

_I was thinking about...choices. And free will. And belonging. And how quickly things can change. How one minute you can have someone, and the next they're gone. No warning, no transition, just gone. They were yours and then not yours a second later. Funny how that works._

_Oh, not this again!_ I could hear the collective groan and I smiled to myself.

 _Oh yes, this again._ _Maybe this time though, it's about something else. Maybe this time, I'll tweak the ending. Wouldn't want to get too predictable._

More mental groaning, pleas for me to shut up and just concentrate on the circuit I was supposed to be making. I ignored them as I let the images come to me. The memories took me back, took us all back...

To my house, such a different place then. A refuge, walls full of love, life, happy memories.

We were walking through the front door. Her arm was linked in mine and we were laughing...laughing, can you believe it? Five seconds before my world was going to be obliterated and I was laughing...

Sam was waiting, not for her, but for me. I remember it all, every detail, the way his head snapped up at the sound of the door opening, the way his eyes looked for me. I remember every second of that final look, the love in his eyes that was for me. He was happy I was home...he was standing up, arms reaching for me...

And then I spoke the words that doomed me. "Sam, this is Emily."

How could it happen so fast? A universe should not be able to be destroyed in less than a second. A love should not be able to be forgotten in less than a heartbeat. His eyes...one moment they were the eyes of my Sam, then they looked away, fastened on to her, and when he finally looked at me again, it was like he was seeing a stranger...

I could feel his pain as I shook off the memory. Any other time I might have enjoyed it but I had other things on my mind.

_I want you to tell me, Sam. Who do you belong to? Whose are you? Not mine...right? Never mine again. And yet I've always been yours. Not only the pathetic ex that can't stop loving you, but your flunky, at your beck and call, here to do your bidding. Deep down, does that give you some kind of thrill, a little kick, much as you might deny it? The fact that you got her and you never had to lose me either?_

The others were yelling at me now, screaming at me to stop it, that this wasnt' the time, but he was silent. He couldn't answer. And it was fine. I didn't need his response. I didn't need anything from him. Not anymore.

_Just say it, Sam. Who do I belong to? Whose am I?_

Still no answer. He was so sure he already knew.

_**No**. Not yours. Not anymore._

He realized it just a fraction of a second too late...the cords that bound us together had already begun to snap. I felt his shock and horror with a deep sense of gloating satisfaction.

_Leah...NO!_

And then they were gone. All of them. Finally, there was nothing but blessed silence. And freedom.

The silence wouldn't hold though. I could hear the howls echoing through the woods, the snap of branches as they turned, running, seeking me out, trying to stop me. I whirled and began to run, faster than I ever had before. hearing them fall away, unable to catch up.

And as I ran, I imagined Jacob's face when he saw me, when he realized I had come to join him.

There was just no part of this that wasn't going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series and all my other Twilight fanfiction can be also be found at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1168444/Ava-Sinclair


	2. A Day Without Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reeling from yet another heartache, Leah spends the day with someone unexpected and ponders what's to come next. Takes place shortly after the end of Breaking Dawn. The second of three days that will alter Leah's destiny.

What the hell am I doing here? I thought to myself for the millionth time as I sat on the riverbank, looking into the gently rushing water.

Across the river and set back from its banks, the white house loomed, imposing. The Bloodsucker Palace. The stink emanating from it was leaving permanent wrinkles on my face.

And yet here I was, willingly inhaling it. There was no real reason for me to be here...oh, I'd used my little brother Seth's presence as an excuse, but that's all it was and he knew it. He'd tried to hide it, but he felt sorry for me. He had already known, I suddenly realized, feeling a dull stab of betrayal. He'd been fully aware of the bomb preparing to drop on me. No wonder he hadn't questioned my sudden arrival.

My thoughts took me back now, to this morning, back to home, where I'd been cleaning up after breakfast...

Mom had been unnaturally quiet all through the meal. It was odd because I thought she'd be in full worry mode. She knew full well that Seth was back at the Cullens. He'd happily volunteered to be on VampBaby Watch for that worrywart Jake while he suffered through summer school, trying to make up for the months he'd missed. It was ridiculous and unnecessary; she had a whole clan of super powered freaks to keep an eye on her, but Seth was pleased to do it anyway.

Still, despite the recent renewed alliance between the bloodsuckers and the pack, Mom hated it when Seth went over there. She hated it even more when Jake wasn't there as well, which up until now was pretty much an unheard of phenomenon.

So why wasn't she filling my ears with a stream of complaints? Why, instead, did she keep giving me those strange looks and biting her lip?

She was doing it again now, staring at me while my back was to her as I scrubbed the frying pan. I could practically feel her eyes burning holes into me. I whipped around, catching her in the act, and she froze.

"Mom." I put the frying pan back in the soapy water and turned the rest of the way around. "You're driving me crazy. Whatever you have to say, just say it."

She flushed slightly, and then sighed. Her back stiffened, as if she was steeling herself for something. "I have some news." She tried to smile, tried to keep her tone casual, but it wasn't working, and I could feel myself tense in response.

"What news?" I managed to say tightly. It suddenly felt hard to breathe. I could feel something bad coming, like a meteor hurled towards my universe, ready to consume it all over again.

"It's well...it's Emily. And..." She looked as though she desperately wished she didn't have to say his name. "...Sam. They went over to the courthouse yesterday. They...they got married, Leah."

Married.

I was silent and it seemed the rest of the universe fell silent as well. All I could hear was my own heart pounding in my chest. How odd. You wouldn't think that a shattered, smashed heart would be so loud. Shouldn't it just stop, like the rest of my life had?

"Why?" I finally managed. "What about all their plans? What about the wedding?"

"Well..." Mom's smile was all wrong; trembling, turned down at the corners, more of a grimace. She was afraid, I suddenly realized. For it was clear to me now...Sam and Emily suddenly rushing off and getting married was only the tip of the iceberg. She didn't think I could handle the rest.

I closed my eyes. "She's pregnant, isn't she?" My whisper seemed to ring through the room as if I'd screamed the words.

There was another long silence. I opened my eyes and stared at her without blinking until she took another deep breath. "Yes. They just found out."

I turned away from Mom now, staring out the window and into the rare blue sky beyond. The sun was high overhead. I avoided looking at it. I didn't want it to sting my eyes and make her think I was crying.

No, crying was the last thing I wanted to do. In fact, for one strange second, I almost wanted to laugh. Well, at least life was consistent. As soon as the pain got more bearable, as soon as I dragged myself to my feet, it threw something at me to knock me down once more. I could count on that more than I could count on the rain returning to Forks.

After several excruciatingly long seconds had passed, I turned back to Mom, noting with bitter amusement that she had put the length of the room in between us. Didn't want to end up with a face like her niece's, I guessed, my face twisting into a sardonic smile.

"Well." I said finally. "Looks I'm stuck with one seriously ugly bridesmaid's dress for no good reason."

Mom bit her lip, and I sighed in exasperation. Couldn't she just play along? I was fighting to hold it together. Didn't she realize that her pity was like fiery coals piled on my head, burning away my pride, the one thing I had left?

I couldn't stay in the house another second. She cringed back as I pushed past her, trying to get to the front door. To my surprise, she reached out a hand as I passed. Trying to...what? Stop me? Comfort me?

I would never know, because I flinched away from her instinctively and she blanched. Hurt crept into her expression.

"Leah, I'm trying here." Her voice held a mix of pain and anger.

I paused, but I didn't turn back to look at her. "I know, Mom. I'm sorry. I just - I have to get out of here."

I didn't wait for a response. I was out the door and minutes later, I was flying through the forest on four legs, going faster, faster, faster...leaving it all burning on the trail I left behind me.

xXx

And now I was here. Why I had chosen leech territory over the refuge the forest held, I still didn't understand. Maybe it was because Seth was here, and at least his pity was tempered with a decent amount of fear of me, which made me feel slightly less pathetic.

Maybe it was because the stench was distracting...would rather have my nose and eyes burn then my heart.

Maybe it was because...because home, La Push, was nothing more than a mirage to me now, the place I was supposed to belong, but didn't. There, I would always be the square peg trying to fit into the round hole. Here, there was no question that I was an anomaly that didn't belong. It was a relief to not have to try.

Seth had excused himself as fast as he could after I'd gotten there, with the excuse that he'd needed to run the perimeter. I laid back in the grass on the riverbank, phased back into my human form so my head would be quiet and I wouldn't infect him with my bitterness any more than I already had.

I didn't let myself think of anything, just enjoyed the warmth of the sunlight seeping into my denim shorts and burning my bare legs and midriff just slightly. Did minutes pass, or hours? Didn't matter. They all felt the same lately; there was no point in keeping track.

I would have gone on like that indefinitely if a brightly colored movement from the house across the river hadn't caught my eye. I looked idly, no really caring what it was, and then my eyes widened when I saw a small figure step carefully on to a second story window sill. It was the half vamp kid with the unpronounceable name. Bella's daughter. Jacob's imprint. My lip curled at that before I focused on her a little more intently, wondering what she was doing.

She was still standing in the open window; her small, bare feet were clinging to the sill, her tiny yellow gown lightly ruffling in the gentle breeze. A smile curved her mouth as she surveyed the ground far below, and I suddenly realized what she was going to do. No. No way. She wasn't really going to -

She crouched and I shot up from the ground, ready to phase, ready to dash across the river and throw myself under her window in a fruitless attempt to catch her, knowing I would never make it in time. At that moment, it didn't matter that she was barely human, a genetic joke. Maybe she wasn't really a kid, but she looked like one right then, looked just as fragile as any other child about to hurtle two stories to the unforgiving ground...

And in the time it took for me to jump up, quivering all over, she leapt. I stared in open-mouthed horror only to see her alight on the ground as gracefully as a butterfly, still on her feet, unhurt, but looking very pleased with herself.

Beaming brightly, she lifted her auburn covered head and looked directly at me. Her smile widened and then she was running straight at me. I stepped back now, glad that the creepy little thing was stuck on the other side of the river, but once again the half-breed surprised me. She changed direction suddenly, making a beeline for an area where the gap wasn't as wide, and then, with a leaping bound, she was across. Giggling quietly, she was at my feet in a matter of seconds, looking up at me expectantly.

"Gah!" I was breathing heavily as I glared down at her. "You nearly gave me a heart attack! Where are your parents?"

I stared at the front of the white house, expecting a half dozen hysterical vampires come tearing out in search of their Fanged Freakling, at which point I was going to give them a piece and a half of my mind. Devil child or not, they shouldn't be leaving her on her own to dive off of window sills.

Nobody came though, and I was diverted from wondering why by a tug on my belt loop. I looked down and the kid was holding her tiny hands up, trying to reach me. If I hadn't been distracted, I would have realized what she was trying to do. My mind was elsewhere however, and so, unconsciously, I did what I would have done if she'd been any other kid and leaned down to hear what she had to say.

Her hands were immediately on either side of my face and suddenly, my mind wasn't my own. Dozens of images were flickering in front of me, answering my question, showing me the various reasons why no one was home with her except that snotty blonde Rosalie and her bulky husband. Apparently Blondie Vamp was doing a piss poor job of babysitting too, because she'd put the rug rat down for a nap and then never bothered to check and make sure the kid was actually sleeping.

All of this echoed in my head in a matter of seconds. Horrified, I tried to pull away but the brat was strong and I was afraid to try too hard to pull her off of me. If I hurt her, Jake would never let me hear the end of it. He might even banish me back to La Push permanently, back to Sam and to everyone's unrelenting pity, and I couldn't stand that, especially not now.

Finally Dracu-Tot let go and I jumped back. "Don't you ever, ever -" I was too mad to form more words, or at least not ones that were safe to say around her.

After a moment of hyperventilating and trying to completely shrug off the fact that the little monster had been in my mind, I managed to find my voice again.

"Alright, you've had your fun. Go run along home now." I waved an impatient hand.

Little Leech didn't move, just stared up at me with enormous brown eyes, blinking slowly.

"What?" I snapped.

Her lips moved but I couldn't hear what she was saying. Then, to my horror, she grabbed my hand and I was once again assaulted by images, though not as strong as they had been when she'd touched my face. Mostly I heard words...well, one word, really. BORED. Repeated over and over for the couple of seconds that she was touching me before I shook her off.

"Stop it, you mutant munchkin! That's my mind you're messing with! Why can't you just open your mouth and talk?"

She just stared at me and I exhaled in frustration. "What's it to me if you're bored? Go home and tell someone who cares. I don't know what you expect me to do about it."

Once again she raised her hands but I jumped back again, glaring at her. "Knock. It. Off. I swear, if you do that mind meld to me one more time I'm going to drop kick you back across the river."

The Thing didn't look as intimidated as I would have liked, but she did drop her hands. A moment later her lower lip jutted out. I rolled my eyes. "Look, if you have something to say, just say it."

She stared at me blankly and I gritted my teeth. "Do I have to spell it out for you? Talk! Speak! Converse! Open your mouth and make noises! I know it's against everything you are to do something that normal but just fake it for a few, alright? You are seriously creeping me out."

The parasitic progeny blinked rapidly as she looked up at me, apparently waiting for me to weaken. When I didn't, she sighed.

"Ride." She said after a moment, her little voice imperious. Clearly she was very used to being able to say 'jump' and being answered with 'how high?'

"Ride?" I repeated, my voice rising. "You mean, on me? What do I look like, a children's pony?"

Her pout advanced dramatically. "I don't want to go home. I'm tired of sleeping. I want to play!"

I was rapidly losing what little patience I had. "Do I need to spell it out for you? I'm not your friend, you little freak. What you want means less than nothing to me. Get lost!"

The demon seed stared at me for a long moment, and then her chin began to quiver. I should have just walked away but I was unable to move as the tears pooled in her eyes and then spilled over. In a moment, she was sobbing quietly into her hands.

"Crap, kid, don't do that!" I protested. "Come on now, be quiet!"

She continued to cry, a quiet, heartrending sound. It was a horrendous sound to me, like finger nails on a chalkboard. The sound of her tears ripped through me and battered at my reluctant conscience. Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh.

"Look, um...I'm didn't mean to...I - uh..." My tongue was all tied in knots as I moved awkwardly to stand next to her. What should I do? Pat her back? Give her a hug? Smack her into the river and hope that the current was strong enough to float her downstream and out of my life forever?

As I nervously shifted from foot to foot, the mutant dropped her hands suddenly and I stared in surprise at her wide, mischievous grin.

"Gotcha!" She burst out gleefully and jumped up and down, clapping her hands.

"What?" I stared at her. Her face was still damp, but she was beaming now, obviously quite pleased with herself.

"You little brat! You really had me going!" I snapped at her. Then I considered it for a moment and couldn't help the grudging smile that shaped my lips. "Real tears and everything. You're good."

She giggled and then something diverted her attention. Her small head inclined towards the house for a moment and I wondered if she heard something I didn't. By the worried expression on her face, they must be looking for her.

When she looked back at me, her face was pleading. I opened my mouth, about to tell her to beat it back home when the unexpected benefits of taking Vamp Baby for a little jaunt began to occur to me. First of all, Jacob would be furious when he found out I'd taken off with his little fiend without permission, and pissing him off just never got old. Second, the bloodsuckers would be in a complete and well-deserved panic when they found she was gone. Cake and icing.

Plus, I could do with a little distraction. I'd much rather be thinking about guarding my back from infuriated vampires then imagine Sam with his perfect Emily and their perfect life. My life, the one that they stole from me.

"OK." I said abruptly. "I'll take you for a run. But there is no way in hell I'm carting your smelly little butt around. You're just going to have to keep up as best you can."

She chewed her lip for a moment, and then nodding, smiling. "I can run fast."

"We'll see about that." I snorted, and with that, I went behind a clump of trees to strip down.

As soon as I phased, Seth's voice was back in my head. I could hear his confusion, then his surprise as he saw the face of Jake's imprint in my mind, and realized who I was going to spend the afternoon with.

Uh, Leah, I really don't think this is such a good idea. Bella and Edward will freak, not to mention Jacob. You should take her back home. I could sense him prancing nervously on the other side of the giant house.

Buzz off. I thought back. Oh and Seth...that's an order.

Dang it, Leah! I heard him protest but I was running now, the sound of the mutant's feet behind me spurring me onward, faster and faster, and I left the sound of his worry far behind me.

xXx

I was already phased, re-dressed, and lounging against the tree in the clearing by the time the creature showed up, panting. She gave me a baby fierce look as she stumbled, and then sank to the grassy ground, trying to catch her breath.

I grinned. "I suppose you are fast, kid. For a human."

Vampirella pouted for a few more minutes. "When I race Jake, he lets me win."

"Well, I'm not Jake." I stretched my legs out and yawned.

We sat in silence for a few more seconds and then she bounced up, all signs of exhaustion gone. "I've been here before!" She exclaimed happily, looking around the clearing I'd taken her to, several miles away from the leeches' compound. She bounded over to me. "What do you want to play?"

I snorted loudly. "Hide and Seek. You seek. Go over to that tree and count to a million." I leaned back and closed my eyes.

I could practically hear her pouting again. I opened one eye and sure enough, her lower lip was dragging nearly to the ground. I sighed.

"Listen, I'm not in the mood to play Mary Poppins. Can't you entertain yourself for a while?"I looked at her downcast face for a moment. A frown wrinkled my forehead. "You're lonely, aren't you? Is that why you're so desperate for attention? I guess I can understand that in a way. Must kind of suck to not have any other kids to play with."

"Jake plays with me." she said, skipping around and then stopping to pick a clump of wildflowers.

"Yeah, well, Jake may be emotionally stunted, but he's not a kid. It's not the same. You should have some friends your own age." I frowned at my words. "I guess that's kind of hard though, seeing as you don't stay one age for very long."

She looked a little sad now and I felt an unexpected rush of emotion. It took me a moment to puzzle it out and then I realized I was sad too. For her. I suppose some might say she was lucky, talented, special, even, but from where I was sitting, she was just a freakish anomaly. Aging too fast and too strange to fit in with the humans, but not a true vampire either. She was stuck in between worlds and she'd never quite belong. It was a feeling I knew well. Some gift our heritage was. More like a curse, but I was beginning to think I'd had it better than her. At least I'd gotten to be a child. She'd never really have that chance.

I exhaled, annoyed with myself. I was doing it again...feeling all empathetic for beings that I should still consider my enemy. What was wrong with me? I'd been spending way too much time with the walking ticks, I decided. I was in serious danger of actually starting to see them as people. I shuddered at the thought and forced my mind back to the pleasant nothingness that it had been before.

For a long time, I watched blue sky, observing the fluffy white clouds drift slowly through it, imagining I saw shapes in them. Refusing to allow the blackness, the pain that constantly probed at my periphery in to torment me. There would be plenty of time for that later, time to soak my pillow with tears, time to lose myself in bitterness once more. I wanted this one day without rain to myself.

I was starting to feel almost relaxed enough to fall asleep when a sudden, terrified shriek from the kid nearly ripped me right out of my skin. There was a note of genuine horror in it that had my instincts raging, my blood turning to fire in my veins. My instincts took over, screaming at me to phase. I would have in a second, my eyes frantically looking for her attacker, but the sight of her, standing by herself, jumping up and down and frantically swiping at her yellow skirt in such a normal, childlike way gave me the bit of calm I needed.

I ran to her side. "What?" I demanded. "What's wrong with you?"

She turned and buried her face against my legs, her tiny frame quivering with sobs - real ones this time. "S-spider." She choked out after a moment. "On my dress!"

"Spider?" My astonished exclamation was followed by laughter. A spider? Baby Vamp jumps out of windows, rides on werewolves, hunts animals, and she's scared of a spider?

I looked down and quickly located it. It was big, gray, fuzzy, and running for its eight legged life through the faded grass. The kid's eyes followed mine and when she saw it she jumped back, a terrified whimper coming from her lips.

I reached down and scooped the spider up in my hand. Her eyes widened in horror and she leapt back several feet.

"Get over it." I told her, turning, the spider crawling over my palm. "Look at it. It's terrified. How can you honestly be scared of something so helpless?"

Fat tears were welling in Bloodsucker Baby's eyes. "It's ugly!" She sobbed. "And scary! Kill it!"

I rolled my eyes and then walked over to her. She tried to step back again but I reached out with my other hand to stop her. "Oh come on, what did it ever do to you?"

Her jaw clenched stubbornly, her tiny hands balling into fists. "Kill it." She repeated, her eyes flashing.

"Why? Because you're frightened? You know it's a bloodsucker just like you, right? Practically family." I snorted. As I spoke, the spider raced over my hand, desperately trying to make an escape. I turned my palm over and over, foiling its every attempt. Finally it gave up and stilled in the middle of my palm, looking resigned.

"People would be scared of you too, you know." I told the kid, looking up.

Her dark eyes widened. "Why?" She asked, looking bewildered.

I chuckled grimly, raising an eyebrow. "Vampires are monsters. Didn't you know that? Just like werewolves. And you're even stranger than the rest of us. You can't even pretend to be a regular human. It's why you can't go to school, why you can't go any where you might be seen. If people knew the truth about you, they'd think you were dangerous."

"But I'm not!" She protested, her eyes filling once more with genuine tears.

I shrugged. "Maybe not. But most people wouldn't understand. They might even want to hurt you, just for scaring them. Kinda like what you want to do to this spider."

Comprehension dawned on her small face. I leaned down, holding out the petrified looking arachnid on my open palm. She flinched back but held her ground.

"Anyway, I guess it's decision time. We could set it free. Or I could kill it like you wanted. What's it going to be?"

She took a deep breath. "Let it go." Her high pitched voice was decided.

"You sure?" I asked her.

Her Vampness nodded. "It's not so scary, I guess."

I smiled. "See, what did Auntie Leah tell you?"

As soon as I registered my own words my smile faded and I froze in horror. Where the hell did that come from?! Someone please tell me I didn't just say what I think I said. Oh holy hell, I just set myself up as proxy aunt to a mini monster. What was wrong with me? As soon as Jacob heard about this little slip of the tongue, he'd never let me live it down. Neither would Seth. This could not be happening.

It didn't help that the Hybrid Kid looked delighted by my words. Wonderful. I couldn't even pay her off with candy to keep her quiet like I could if she was a normal kid.

I closed my eyes and searched for any kind of way out of this. Maybe the Cullens were mad enough about my slight kidnapping of their spawn that they would kill me after all. A girl could hope. And if not, I could always try to take a bite out of Bella. That would get a rise out of them for sure, and then no one would ever have to know about my disgusting weakness for half breed kiddie vamps

I decided to live in denial for the moment, and returned to the issue of the spider still in my hand. "Um, anyway, where should we let it go at? Maybe those bushes over there?"

What's her name stared at me like I was being deliberately stupid. "We have to put it back where we found it. Otherwise, it might get lost. I want it to be able to find its family again."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "It has a family, does it?" I asked as I gingerly lowered the spider back to the ground. We watched it scramble off, limping slightly. I suspected the kid had knocked off one or two of its legs when she'd smacked it off of her.

"Of course it has a family. Everything living has a family." The Halfling informed me, as if I didn't know anything. She'd returned to that stuck up tone that reminded me of her parents and all the reasons why I wouldn't like them even if they weren't vampires.

"You're wrong." I told her flatly, walking across the clearing to a small creek that trickled past. I sat down in front of it and stared into the shallow water.

"I am?" Her tone was uncertain again. I looked up to see she'd followed me and now she sat down next to me. Her gaze was intent on my face.

I hesitated a moment before speaking. Maybe I'd rocked her perfect fairytale world with one too many revelations today. I should probably quit while I was ahead. Her face though, was expectant, and I found myself speaking again.

"Not everyone is like you." I told her, trying to find the right words. "With a house full of people to love them and take care of them. Maybe you're different and your life won't always be easy, but at least you'll never be alone. You have all these people that love you, and they're never going to get old, or sick. They're never going to die. And you've got Jake. You'll never have to worry about finding someone who loves you and accepts you for exactly who you are. You've had that since the second you were born." Jealousy gnawed at me as I spoke.

Weirdo Wonder seemed to considering that. Finally, she looked at me. "What about you? You're always here. You're always alone. Do you have a family? Who loves you, Leah?"

I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes, not answering her. A light wind blew across us, and I felt strands of hair fall over my face. I was reminded once that the only people who loved me did so out of obligation. That the only person who'd ever chosen to give his love to me was lost to me forever.

I couldn't stop it now. I'd opened up too much, let her innocent question get inside my head. The pain was coming now, the pain that I'd been trying to escape all day. I sat there, silent, waiting for it to take me over. To ravage me the way it always had.

I don't know how long it was when I realized something was different. My eyes popped open, startled and my mind churned, trying to understand why I felt so off kilter.

"It's over." I whispered, almost to myself. "I don't believe it. It's actually over."

"What's over?" The kid asked and then her eyes widened in alarm. "You're crying!"

I touched my face, feeling the dampness. I was crying. "Yeah." I whispered. "I guess I am."

"Why are you crying? Are you sad?" She was clearly worried now.

"I'm crying because I - " I stopped, struggling for the answer to her question. A faded melody floated through my mind, echoes of a song we used to sing long ago in church when I was a child.

I sing because I'm happy...I sing because I'm free...

I'd been waiting for so long, frozen in limbo, for something that was never going to happen. Deep down, so far down in the dark that I hadn't even realized it consciously, I'd always thought Sam would come back to me. That some higher power would realize how unfair it was to take everything from me. Sam, my father, my own humanity, my future... No, it was too much. I'd always imagined someday the universe would right that wrong and give him back.

And now I knew in every particle of my being that it was never, ever going to happen. Sam was not coming back. He and Emily were married. They were having a baby. I would never have him again. I was on my own.

And now I was free.

Free to move on, or to stand still, to fly or to fall apart. Whatever I wanted. I wasn't frozen in place anymore. I would never be again.

It did still hurt, regardless. The pain burned through me, melting the ice around my heart, reminding me that I was still human too, that I could still break. I still felt how badly it stung that I hadn't been his chosen one. It was bearable though, easy to compartmentalize. Because I was only willing to surrender so much of myself to mourn him now. I'd given him enough already.

The future stretched out before me, and it was wide open. How could I have not realized it before, that I was ready to start living again?

"Leah?" The tentative whisper came from beside me.

I turned to her, wiping my eyes, and gave her the first true smile I'd given her all day. It might have been the first heartfelt expression on my face in months.

"I owe you one, kid." I whispered to her.

She looked puzzled at my words, but my smile seemed to reassure her. She bounced up and across the grass, humming to herself. I watched her for a few minutes as she skipped in circles, and then darted up a nearby tree to peer at the birds that had been sitting in the nearby branches. Her movements were so light that they seemed to accept her as one of their own, and didn't fly away.

I was perfectly content now, just to stand there and watch her. I did until the light breeze blew across my face again and brought with it a scent that made me jump to my feet in a second. I tensed, shaking all over, until I realized the scent was familiar. Irritatingly so.

I wasn't the only one who noticed. Still balanced on a branch, the halfling turned her face expectantly towards the north.

"Daddy!" She cried, her tiny voice delighted as a pale figure stepped into the clearing. Wonderful; Edward was here.

I shielded my eyes as I watched him. I had never gotten used to the way the sun made vampires shimmer like some freakish rainbow. My eyes were already watering from the blinding glint.

"Nessie." For a moment, his smile was tender as she leapt from the tree directly into his waiting arms, but then his eyes found me and hardened. His mouth settled into grim lines. My own stance tensed in response.

"Leah brought me here, Daddy!" Her voice was animated and he looked startled. I wondered why for a moment and then I realized he wasn't used to her talking out loud.

"I know." His voice was cold now as he set her down on the ground and then turned to me. I grimaced as he approached me, once again fighting the strong urge to phase. I didn't want to risk the kid getting in between us if something went down.

His face twitched a bit at that and I realized he was reading my thoughts. I glared at him. Stupid intrusive leech. I snarled at him silently.

"I appreciate your consideration for my daughter's safety." He said, his voice low. "However, if you ever even think about taking her from our supervision again without permission, you and I are going to have a serious problem." His polite words did nothing to disguise the menace behind them.

"Bring it on, Sparkles." I sneered, waving him forward. The kid was just going to have to make herself scarce because I'd been dying for an opportunity to tear one of the leeches apart for months. My fingers twitched and adrenaline coursed through me. I still would have preferred it to be Bella, but he'd do just fine.

Edward's eyes got even blacker in reaction to my unspoken words, and he stepped forward, a low growl issuing from his throat. Oh, this was going to be fun.

"Daddy!"

The bloodsucker beat down was pre-empted by the midget's alarmed voice. I sighed in exasperation as Edward instantly moved to her side. He knelt down and she put her little hands on his face, speaking to him with her thoughts.

It was only a couple of seconds before he lifted his head and looked at me again. The threat was gone from his face now, and I sighed in disappointment.

"Sorry." His mouth twitched. "But Nessie tells me this little excursion was actually her idea." He looked back at his daughter. "That was very naughty of you to sneak out like that. You had us all extremely worried."

His voice lacked any kind of true censure, and I rolled my eyes. Looked like Daddy Vamp was a sucker in more ways than one.

Edward's twitch became a full smile at that, and he leaned towards me. "Look who's talking, Auntie Leah."

My smug smile immediately disappeared. "I swear if you tell anyone about that, I'll set you on fire." I hissed at him.

Edward snickered. My fists clenched in aggravation, but before I could retort, all three of us heard it, the sound of something massive moving our way fast. Not too gracefully, either, judging by the frequent cracking of trees.

The kid's face lit up. "Jake!" She cried, squirming in her father's arms. He tensed slightly at her delighted expression and then set her down with a resigned sigh.

"Looks like summer school is out for the day." I sighed, and then Jacob burst into the clearing, hopping on one leg as he still struggled to reattach his clothing pouch to his ankle.

"Dammit, Leah!" He roared the instant he caught sight of me. He must have gotten the gist of the situation from Seth already. "What the hell were you thinking? Rosalie's going out of her mind back there! Not to mention Bella!" His face was infuriated as he barreled down on me. "I ought to order you back to La Push!"

"You wouldn't dare!" I stepped up to him, glaring fiercely.

"Hell yeah, I would!" He shouted back. "You've gone too far this time! I don't want you within a hundred feet of Nessie, ever -"

A loud sniffle interrupted us and Jacob stopped yellling immediately. His eyes turned to the child standing in front of him and his face grew horrified at the sight of the tears beginning to roll down her porcelain cheeks.

"Don't be mean to Leah!" She sobbed. "She's my friend! You can't send her away!"

Jacob's own face crumpled at the sight of her tears and immediately he was on his knees in front of her. "Aw, Nessie, honey, don't cry!"

The munchkin continued to cry quietly and looking absolutely stricken, Jake picked her up, patting her gently on the back. "I'm sorry." He told her over and over and then finally, shot me a resigned look. "Nessie, please, stop! I promise, I won't order Leah to do anything."

He turned then, evidently intending to carry her towards the house, and over his shoulder, she winked at me. I bit my lip to keep from snickering and giving her away. Standing to the side, Edward shook his head, but he too was smiling.

Jake turned around after a moment. "Are you coming, Leah?" He called to me, the annoyance in his voice muted now.

I hesitated, and then shook my head. "No. I have to go, actually. There's some things I need to take care of."

"Okay." He shrugged. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

I didn't reply, but something about my silence tipped Jacob off. He turned back towards me, still cradling the child carefully in his arms. "I won't see you tomorrow?" His voice was startled.

"Not here." I said after a moment's thought. "I won't be coming back for a while."

"How long is a while?" Jake asked me now. His eyes were confused.

I shook my head. "I don't know yet." I said again.

"But you'll be back someday, won't you?" It was the kid who spoke this time, and the quaver in her voice was real now.

I smiled at her. "You can bet on it, Ren."

Her answering smile was surprised, and I wondered why for a moment until I realized. It was the first time I'd called her by her name. Well, the part I could pronounce, anyway.

Jake watched me for another long moment and then he turned and was gone.

Edward stepped forward as if to follow, and then turned back. His glittering skin was not as blinding now, the shadows beginning to creep across the sky.

"I'm sorry if I overreacted." He told me quietly.

I shrugged. "I'm sorry I didn't get to take you when I had the chance."

He laughed quietly then. "Goodbye, Leah. I wish you luck."

I nodded briskly and with a lightning fast motion, he was gone.

I stood there for a long time, watching the sunlight wane as it slowly disappeared. Before it faded completely, I let my instinct take over and I exploded out of my skin, then ran, following the last few rays, chasing them beneath the horizon. Knowing all the while that I was headed back to La Push.

For there would be no future for me, despite all the progress I'd made, until I confronted the past, one last time.


	3. One Day I'll Fly Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third and final chapter in my Leah mini series: Leah Clearwater has broken away from the pack and made her way alone, but to truly move on, she must confront Sam, Emily, and a few harsh truths along the way...the third of three days that will change the course of Leah's life forever.

Did the whole world do nothing but sleep?

For what was at least the hundredth time, I stopped pacing my small bedroom long enough to cast a sullen look out my window at the blue sky above. Sunshine two days in a row…that had to be some kind of record. It had blanketed La Push with light at what I would have normally considered an indecently early hour, but today was different. Today's dawn was going to bring me so much than just the normal hours that I drudged through, and I'd been so eager for it that I'd stayed up all night, making my plans in the nocturnal silence, and counting the minutes until I could put them into motion.

And now, the sun had risen on my personal horizon and yet I waited, staring at the clock that ticked so infuriatingly slow, hands still pointing to an hour that I couldn't, with any semblance of politeness, demand wakefulness from everyone that I needed action from. Even my mother still slept, she who was normally up at the crack of dawn.

I resumed my pacing, though even that was distinctly lacking in any type of satisfaction. It took me precisely eleven steps to cross from one side of the room to the other – I'd been counting them for hours. I wished I had something to occupy my mind but nothing could hold me still.

As I walked, I shot a longing look out the window. What I really needed now was a nice long run, but I couldn't risk phasing at the moment. It was grating that the only benefits of my burdensome legacy, the freedom and strength it afforded me, were always offset by the lack of privacy. Right now, I needed my thoughts to be my own.

I looked away from the window and tried to divert my thoughts but it was too late. I shouldn't have thought of running. The forest called to me now, beckoning from beyond my window. Abruptly, the walls seemed to shrink in on me, and my breathing became rapid, shallow, my being vibrating with need. Instinct battled for dominancy within me, demanding my body give in to the wildness that wanted to reshape my features, free me from this form and all the limitations that came with it.

As the sudden claustrophobia began to overwhelm me the air in the room became dank, stagnant, and I staggered to the window, shoving it open and taking deep, welcome breaths of the fresh air that poured in. That made it both better and worse. Worse because I could smell it so much clearly now, the pine of the trees, the freshness of the earth below, the mingled musk of the animals that moved industriously in the shadows while the day was still cool.

I would not have been able to resist much longer, would have leapt from the window in a moment but just then, the phone on my nightstand began to shrill, breaking the spell abruptly. I was across the room in an instant, picking up the receiver before the first ring was completed.

"Hello?" My voice was breathy.

"Leah? It's Jennifer."

Behind the familiar voice of my old high school friend, I could hear the sounds of muffled conversation and dishes clanking, reassuring me that at least someone's world was brimming with life, unlike in my sleepy corner.

"Yes?" I couldn't think of the right niceties as my fingers played an impatient drum on the surface of the night table.

Jennifer must have sensed my impatience. Her words toppled over each other. "So I talked to my boss and he went for it, just like I told you he would. As long as you don't give him grief about the hours, the job is yours. Just be here by tomorrow afternoon."

I couldn't restrain the grin that spread across my face. "Jen, I owe you. Tell him I will be there. Thank you so much."

Jennifer laughed. "It's just a waitressing job, Leah. After a week of suffering along with me you won't be able to believe you ever wanted it."

"Oh, I will. Believe me. You have no idea what this means to me. Thanks again. I'll see you soon." With that, I hung up the phone, my hands trembling with barely suppressed excitement.

The sound of a door opening down the hall caught my attention. Mom was awake. I hadn't gotten to the phone fast enough. Quietly, I crept to my door and cracked it open, listening. With my heightened hearing, I could hear every soft, slippered footstep as she walked into the hall, pausing for a moment, and then continuing on into the kitchen.

I hesitated for a moment and then picked up the cardboard box that I'd carried down from the attic the night before and slipped into the hallway myself, following her.

I stopped as I reached the kitchen doorway. My mother's voice floated towards me, the sound of her whispering alerting me more than her normal tones would have. Was someone else here? I cocked my head, listening, but heard no other voices. Seth wasn't known for stealth, so if he was here, he was asleep. She must be on the phone.

"I'm worried, Charlie." I heard her murmur, and I imagined her craning her head to see if I was nearby. "Leah didn't say a word to me when she got home. She was on the phone half the night and digging around in the attic for God knows what the other half. I have no idea what's going on with her. As if that's anything new." I winced guiltily at the frustration in her voice.

There was a pause and I mentally filled in Charlie's platitudes in my head. Whatever he did say must have been close to what I'd imagined because Mom heaved a sigh. "Thank you. I know I'm probably over-reacting. It's just that I'm afraid the news about Sam and Emily might be the last – yes, you're right. I'll keep an eye on her. No, you don't need to come over, but - ."

Silently, I walked backwards on my toes and stepped forward again, much more loudly then before. I heard my mother's low gasp in response.

"She's up, Charlie. I have to go. I'll call you if I need you." Hastily, she hung up the phone. I set my box down right outside the kitchen doorway and walked inside.

"Good morning, Leah." False cheer rang through her tone, and her lips quivered nervously.

"Hey," I shrugged, and for an awkward moment we stared at each other warily, each of us no doubt struggling for something to say. For not the first time, I wondered when we'd become near strangers instead of mother and daughter, nothing left of our relationship except for stilted silences and unspoken words.

Finally, Mom cleared her throat. "Seth stayed at the Cullens last night." Her lips thinned in displeasure. "Are you going back over there today?"

I shook my head. "No. Don't worry so much though. He'll be fine."

"Of course." Her eyes betrayed disbelief and under normal circumstances, she would have argued. I was getting tired of the kid glove treatment.

I could see her searching for something else to say. "Well, if you don't have plans then perhaps we could do something." If I'd been hoping for sincerity in her words, the doubtful look on her face would have been extremely disappointing.

I shook my head, already tired of partnering her in this dance of politeness. "Actually, I've got some errands to run, so…" I nodded towards the door.

"Oh?" Was that genuine disappointment on her face? I felt a twinge of guilt. Maybe I'd underestimated her.

"Are you sure going out is such a good idea?" Mom's next words were pointed and I sighed. Nope, it wasn't disappointment; just her possibly justified fear that I might have really lost it this time and be on my way out to slaughter half the reservation.

"It's fine, Mom." I struggled to keep the annoyance out of my voice. "I've got to go."

"But – " she looked around as if a good excuse for me to stay might come walking up to her, and brightened as her gaze lit on the stove. "Can't you stay for breakfast at least? I can make you pancakes. Eggs and sausage too."

At that, my stomach rumbled loudly enough for us both to hear it, and victory lit her eyes. "I'll get started," she murmured, a slightly smug smile curving her lips as she hurried to the cupboard and began pulling out pans.

Six pancakes, ten sausages, and nearly a dozen eggs later I was feeling comfortably full. Mom's smug expression had only deepened as she'd watched me devour plate after plate.

"You know, if you stick around, I'll fry some chicken for lunch…" she hinted. The woman was shameless.

I shook my head, relieved to feel amused by her machinations, instead of resentful. "Not going to work, Mom, sorry."

I stood up to go, and Mom stood up as well. The earlier amusement had died out of her face, and her gaze was suspicious now, almost as if she could see right through me. "Do you want to fill me in on what's so urgent?"

"No." I allowed my tone to become acerbic, reaching for my usual cold demeanor like a protective cloak to ward her off. I walked out of the kitchen and leaned down to retrieve my box, looking up to see her standing in the doorway, watching me.

"What's in the box?"

I moistened my lips. "Just some old stuff I thought I'd get rid of."

Mom walked forward, gesturing. "From the attic? Let me see. I might want to keep – "

"No!" I yanked the box away before she could look and surprise colored her features.

"Leah…" To my surprise, she followed me to the door. "You can talk to me, you know."

I turned around, one hand on the doorknob. "Since when?"

Hurt flared into her eyes and she stepped back, away from me, resignation sagging her shoulders. Mission accomplished. I turned and walked out the door.

I didn't let myself think about where I was going, at least at first. Instead, I moved automatically, my body following the path as if I was operating off of my own personal GPS system. One block down. Right turn. Four more blocks. Third house down, right hand side. The yellow one.

Now that my destination was in sight, I couldn't dam up the doubts that began to barrage their way through my mental walls. Yesterday, it had all seemed so clear, so obvious that I needed to do this. I was so fixated on that certainty that it had almost seemed easy. Now that I was here, in front of Sam and Emily's house, I didn't feel sure of anything.

As I approached, I noted that there was no car in the driveway. Disappointment battled with relief within me. I'd spent all night building up this scenario in my head, and I didn't want the rug pulled out from under me after I'd made up my mind. Still, there was that quiet part of me that wondered if I could handle this, or whether one last confrontation was going to make every thing worse.

A sudden burst of laughter from behind the house rang out, and I froze. I knew that laugh, every nuance of it. It had once been my siren's call. For an instant, it felt as though my heart had stopped and then it started up again, hammering blood through my veins until I felt light-headed. A cacophony of clangs and banging told me that Sam was out back, working, no doubt, on his 69 Camaro SS. The realization pierced me, another bitter tinged needle in my heart. I knew that car so well. I'd been with him when he'd bought it, or at least the hollowed out shell it had been then, from the auto wreck yard. Unbidden and unwelcome, the memories unfolded.

"You can't possibly be serious, Sam. This is going to take up most of your savings!"

"Oh, come on, Leah. It's an investment. I'm going to need a car when I start college anyway." He grinned down at me, fully expecting that his easy going charm was going to shut me down before I could really get started. And he was right, but I made one last stand anyway.

"You'll need a car that works, Sam, not this piece of junk. It will take you forever to get this running." I'd crossed my arms over my chest and frowned, trying to ignore the fingers that were climbing up my back and then caressing my neck.

"Jake can fix anything. If I can get him to help me, we'll be cruising down the highway by summer." Sam tilted up my head and smiled at my scowl. "I'll paint it red for you, because it's your favorite," he murmured, his voice lowering as the junkyard clerk rolled his eyes. "Think about it, Leah. A beautiful car to match my beautiful girl." His lips had come closer and closer and just as my eyes had fallen shut, the clerk cleared his throat loudly and we jumped apart, blushing and smiling sheepishly.

I remembered now, that even as I'd complained, I had imagined it just as he said, the two of us in the front seat of the car, his eyes lit up and his fingers entwined with mine. We'd have the music blaring, something classic like Janis Joplin or the Stones, as we hit the freeway that would lead us away from Forks forever and take us all the way to our happy ending. The future had been so certain, laid out before us. Everything was full of promise. I'd felt so different then, so light. My happiness had cast rainbows on everything in my sight, prisms of color that even the gray of Forks could not dim. Even now, when I looked back on the cloudy, wet days I'd spent with Sam, the memories seemed to shimmer with that luminous spectrum.

But there were darker times ahead, shadows I could have never imagined. Just a month later, Sam had disappeared. When I had discovered he was missing, the rainbows went gray and the bottom fell out of my world. Those weeks were endless, terrifying, full of non-stop nightmares, pacing, bargaining. I whispered my promises into the night skies and the dark dawns - what I would give up if he'd just come back home, what I'd exchange for his life. How I would be a better person, kinder, wiser, understanding…how I'd make sure that I deserved him this time.

My prayers were answered but when Sam had come back, nothing had been the same. It was like some other spirit had taken up residence inside his skin. Something was haunting him, and he wouldn't tell me what. I missed his laugh, his warm stare, and his wandering hands. I missed the way he used to look at me, like I could make everything better for him. I felt so helpless, like I was losing him all over again, but excruciatingly slowly, a millimeter at a time. The fact that he didn't seem to care, that he refused to explain, made it so much worse. He'd would go away for hours, sometimes even days, terrifying me all over again. He kept secrets and snapped at me when I pressed him too hard.

But I remembered my secret vows and I forced myself not to mourn for what had gone from us. I had no time for that. I had a mission, and that was to bring Sam back, to make him smile once more, to make him into the Sam that had fallen in love with me. I was going to make him whole again.

I let that goal consume my life. I devoted everything I had to it. The dreams that I'd had before, my plans for college and the future, seemed a selfish diversion in the face of it. Sam was my future. Without him, it all seemed so pointless. So when he growled, when he withdrew more, when he lied to me, I blamed myself. I believed that I wasn't trying hard enough, and redoubled my efforts. There were moments when I thought I was succeeding, times that I'd see light flare into his face again, feel the love in his embrace, and it made all the worst moments, the pain and uncertainty that had become such a constant in my life, seem bearable. I still had hope.

Until the day I had brought home Emily.

A sharp pain, and the taste of iron, brought me back out of my memories. I realized that I had bitten my lip hard enough to draw blood. Impatiently, I licked the crimson drop away, knowing that the tiny wound would be healed in seconds. My clenched fists ached, and I wondered how long I had been standing there, lost in thought.

Not long enough to be discovered, apparently. The sound of tools grinding and the occasional rev of a sputtering engine continued unabated. Sam's voice rose and fell in bursts of conversation. The laugh of the person with him was just as familiar in a different way, and I frowned, listening. I hadn't been expecting this potential obstacle.

I took a deep breath. No more time to second guess myself. It was time to get this over with. I marched up the driveway and around the side of the house, knowing the sound of my feet crunching the gravel next to the garage would signal to them long before I appeared in view.

Sure enough, when I appeared around the side of the house, Sam and Jake were both frozen into place, staring in my direction. Jake's expression wasn't as condemning as I expected. He looked surprised, certainly, but his black eyes were benign as they studied me.

Sam, on the other hand, looked completely astounded. His mouth hung slightly open as he stared at me. I looked back, hoping my face gave no sign of how my heart clenched at the sight of him, of how badly I wanted to reach back into the past and be the Leah that would have walked to him and wiped the smudge of grease off of his face. But that Leah had gone long ago, and if I needed reminding that the Sam who had loved her was just a memory as well, I got it in the tightening of his face as he gazed at me.

Refusing to show any type of reaction to his expression, I turned to Jacob. "I didn't expect to see you here. Why aren't you dancing attendance on your little half-breed?"

Jacob pulled an exaggeratedly patient face, as if dealing with a temperamental child. "Haven't had a chance to hang out here for a while and I figured it's about time Sam and I got the Camaro running."

"Yeah," I spoke dully, looking at the primer gray car. "It looks good." I couldn't help but wonder if they were still going to paint it red; pour some more salt in my wound.

Sam cleared his throat now, and I couldn't avoid meeting his eyes any longer. Slowly, I turned to face him, hoping my face was still blank and unreadable.

"Leah," his voice was flat as he said my name. "This is unexpected."

I deliberately matched his flat tone. "I came to see Emily. Is she home?"

Jake raised an eyebrow. Sam's face grew warier. He stared at me like he did so often now. Like I was something dangerous; a rattlesnake he'd accidentally come across, hiding in the tall grass.

"She went to the grocery store," he finally managed to bite out, the words oozing with reluctance.

I shrugged. "I'm not in a hurry. I'll just wait inside." I turned towards the back door, knowing without asking that it would be unlocked.

I hadn't taken a step before his voice rang out to stop me. "I don't think that's a good idea."

I closed my eyes and took a long breath before I turned back to him; ready for the battle that I had known all along was coming. "I'm not asking your permission. Besides, I thought you wanted me to talk to Emily. How many times did you ask me, Sam? Beg me, even? 'She misses you, Leah. If you'd just sit down with her, clear the air…" I mocked the often spoken words.

Sam's lips thinned in a disapproving line that reminded me of a much older man, self-righteous and dour. "Things are different now. Emily is – " he broke off abruptly.

"Pregnant." My voice was laced with ice. "Yes, I know. Belated congratulations on the shotgun wedding, by the way. If' I had known, I would have gotten you a nice blender."

"Leah…" Jake's voice was low, a careful warning.

Sam's lip curled. "And that right there proves exactly why I'm not letting you anywhere near my wife. She doesn't need to be upset in her condition."

I gritted my teeth. "Emily doesn't need to be shielded. She can make her own decision. I say we ask her when she gets here. If she wants me to leave, I'll leave."

Sam folded his arms across his chest and stepped towards me. "You're leaving now."

I surveyed his defensive stance, raising a defiant eyebrow. "And how exactly are you gong to make me?"

Sam blew out an exasperated sigh and looked over at Jake. "Are you going to do something about this? She's your responsibility now."

My grin instantly faded and a hiss sounded from between my clenched teeth. Jacob looked from Sam to me, and then back to him. His brow furrowed in thought, and then, unexpectedly, he grinned.

"Sorry, Sam. I'm staying out of this one. It's between you guys." His grin faded, and his tone became serious as he looked at his long time friend. "You knew this would happen at some point. Might as well deal with it now."

With that, he sauntered over to a ragged lawn chair a few feet away and threw himself in it, turning back to stare at us with the air of someone getting ready to enjoy a good show.

Sam shot him an irritated look and turned back to me. "Leah, I have put up with a lot from you but you're going way too far. I don't want to force you to leave, but I will if I have to. Don't make me do this. Just go now. Please."

"No."

"I am warning you…" He was pursing his mouth so tightly that he could barely get the words out.

I held my ground, flexing my fingers expectantly, and couldn't help but smile widely as he stepped towards me, the beginning of a growl in his throat. "Are we really going to do to this? Don't say it if you don't mean it, Sam. No one likes a tease."

Sam dropped his stance then, lowering into a crouch, and adrenaline began to pump through me in response to his cues. I measured the distance between me and the back door with my eyes, trying to envision how he'd come at me. As I glanced, I saw Jake tense, sitting ramrod straight in the lawn chair, his face both anticipatory and worried.

I turned back towards Sam and grinned, my opening salvo, and stepped towards the door. As soon as I moved, he did, his figure blurring as he moved towards me…

* * *

 

Several minutes later, I leaned over, hands on my knees, panting. My breath came in shaky gasps. My arms ached, and I knew if I had still been fully human they'd be sporting finger shaped bruises by now. My hair had come out of my ponytail and was tangled around my face, strands sticking to my forehead. For a moment I stood still, catching my breath and silently assessing any damage. My ribs ached as well but even now I could feel the healing begin, knitting my small wounds together and fading my aches into nothingness. I straightened up as the last lingering pains dissipated; realizing belatedly that I'd lost a shoe. Surveying the lawn before me, I spotted it, dust covered and upended a few inches from my foot. I limped forward and picked it up, leaning on the trunk of the nearby Camaro for support as I forced it back onto my foot.

"Leah!" Sam's voice was muffled. A series of bangs and thumps came from beneath my resting hand, shaking the car slightly. I couldn't help the smirk that shaped my lips as I re-tied my shoelaces.

"Yes, Sam?"

"Let me the hell out of here!" He banged even louder against the inside of the trunk.

I ignored his request, turning to lean my elbows against the car and resting my chin on my hands. "You know, Sam, I'm disappointed. You could have totally taken me, but you had to do the gallant bit and hold back just because I'm female. You didn't even phase. Sucker."

"Dammit, Leah!" The car rocked harder.

I snickered loud enough for Sam to hear, and he swore in response, doubling the blows to the inside of the trunk. "And thanks a lot for your help, Jake!" His strangled shout sounded across the lawn.

I heard a muffled choking coming from the direction of Jake's lawn chair, but didn't acknowledge it as I listened to Sam's faint voice.

"Come on, this isn't funny anymore!" His shout was tinged with desperation.

"I don't know, Sam. I think it's still pretty funny. Do you think it's funny, Jake?" I looked over at him.

Tears poured down Jake's ruddy face as he tried to respond, but couldn't get the words out as he wheezed with merriment, his hands wrapped around his stomach. "Can't…breathe…" he gasped after a moment.

"I'm going to go inside now and wait for Emily." I looked back down at the car. "Don't go anywhere!" I couldn't resist adding.

"Why are you doing this, Leah?" Sam's voice was quieter now, defeated, stopping me after only a step.

I sobered as I thought about his words for a moment, and then I leaned closer to the trunk. "Because long before you ever came along, Sam, it was me and her. Leah and Emily. And you've come between us for the last time."

I didn't wait for a reply. As I turned towards the back door, Jake suddenly stood up from the chair and stepped in my path, his face serious now.

I sighed. "Not you as well. I don't think there's room in the trunk for both of you."

Jake smiled slightly. "I'm not going to try and stop you."

I frowned at him. "Good. Move."

"I just need to say one thing first."

I glowered at him, silently waiting.

He took a deep breath. "Whatever you're going to say to her, you have a right to it. It's just…there's been enough damage done already, and there's more to consider now then Emily and Sam. Just…be sure that whatever you're about to do is worth it."

I bit back the automatic retort and watched him in silence for a moment, thinking over his words and then sincerity on his face. "I really – " I bit my lip and then blurted it out before I could change my mind. "I didn't expect you to back me on this. Thank you."

Jacob shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I owe you one. I know I overreacted yesterday over you taking Nessie out. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt instead of going high and mighty leader on you."

I wrinkled my nose. "I didn't deserve the benefit of the doubt. I only did it to piss you off." I admitted.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Tell yourself that if you want."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean. It was more than that to you."

I opened my mouth to argue but changed my mind before the words left my mouth. I didn't have time to correct Jacob's asinine assumptions. "Whatever." I stepped past him, and stopped. "Wait a second." I reached into the box and grabbed the book lying on top. "Give this to Ren for me." I deliberately emphasized the name as he frowned.

Jacob took the book and looked at the cover in surprise. "Charlotte's Web?" He shook his head and started to hand it back to me. "Nessie doesn't like children's books," He said, deliberately putting emphasis on Nessie just as I had with Ren.

"Ren will like this one. Trust me." I shoved the hand holding the book away. He still looked mystified, and possibly a bit irritated by my new nickname for his kiddie betrothed. After a moment though, he lifted his shoulders in resignation and took the book back.

I looked over Jacob's shoulder at the Camaro, which was rocking again. "Let him out whenever you want."

Jake looked over as well, his brow wrinkled. "I don't know if I have the key, actually."

The air was immediately filled with the sound of Sam's stifled curses, and I grinned as I made my way to the back door and let myself into the house.

I took a deep breath as I shut the door behind me, turning, my back still against it as if I might need to make a quick escape. I'd been inside Emily and Sam's home before, for pack meetings, but I'd tried those sojourns as brief as possible. Now I forced myself to look around. The kitchen was small, like the rest of the house, but homey. Emily had added the touches that were so very her…the bright paint on the walls, the vase full of flowers on the aged table, the hand painted tiles in a neat row above the stove. It was a picture perfect scene…'welcome to our happy home', and I made myself acknowledge it, to picture everything I'd tried to shut out for the past year. This was the kitchen where Emily made Sam's meals, where they laughed and shared stories about their day. This is the kitchen where Emily will feed their child someday.

I sighed, walking across the small kitchen to put my box on the counter and began to pace back and forth. I don't know how many minutes ticked by as I walked aimlessly. It was the sound of the car door slamming outside that stopped me in my tracks, tense with anticipation. I listened as light footsteps walked across the driveway, up the steps to the porch, and pushed open the door.

Emily walked right into the adjoining dining room without seeing me. I watched her deposit her brown grocery bag on the table without looking my way and then begin to dig out the contents and put them next to the bag; a giant package of hamburger, cartons of egg, milk… As she worked her eyes were far away, dreamy, a small smile playing around her lips.

As I watched her, I ached in a different way than I had for so long, a longing that had been long overlooked in the windstorm of fury and loss I'd felt over Sam. I used to braid the long, sleek black hair that hung down her back. The hands that were busy sorting groceries used to be the first to reach out and comfort me when I needed it. The cruelest thing now about her face wasn't the angry scars that marred half of it…it was that it now seemed to belong to a stranger.

I must have moved involuntarily, because Emily looked up abruptly. Her eyes searched me out, standing there next to the counter, and she gasped loudly, dropping the can of frozen juice she held. It hit the table and fell again to the floor, rolling across the weathered wood to stop next to my foot.

"Leah!" Her voice was stunned and she stared at me like I was a mirage that might disappear if she got too close.

I closed my eyes, everything that I had planned to say escaping me. "I didn't mean to scare you." I managed finally.

Emily shook her head, still looking stunned. "No, it's fine. You're always welcome. You know that."

Words returned to me at that, but they were all coldly sarcastic, so I choked them back with considerable effort. Instead I reached down and picked up the juice can. "I'll help you put this stuff away."

Emily looked a bit nonplussed at that but she nodded. We didn't speak as we worked, except for a few muttered questions about where things should go. The bag emptied quickly, and I still hadn't thought of anything to say as I reached in for the last item.

I pulled it out and froze. A pair of impossibly tiny, yellow knit booties lay in my hands. Emily looked from them to me and her brown skin bloomed burgundy. "I – " She stared at me helplessly.

"Don't worry. I already knew." I took a deep breath and crossed the room to her, handing her the booties. "I suppose congratulations are in order."

"Thank you." Emily murmured, looking as deeply uncomfortable as I felt. I saw that she was nervously playing with the gold band on her left hand.

"I know about that too." I told her, answering her unspoken question.

"I see." She took a step back, still twisting her hands. "Where is Sam?"

I shrugged. "Out back, working on his Camaro." As if in response, a distant banging started up again. "Sounds like he's really into it." I struggled to keep the smirk off my face.

Emily nodded, though she still looked faintly puzzled. With a sigh, she turned her gaze back to the booties in her hands. "I shouldn't have bought these. It's too soon." She looked down at the bump that was barely visible underneath her cotton dress. "They were so adorable. I just couldn't resist."

Her smile was sheepish and her eyes were far away for a moment before her expression became aware again. I realized I had backed away, and my hands were clenching the counter I was pressed up against.

"Why are you here, Leah?" Emily's voice was direct now, matter of fact.

"I – " Once again, my voice dried up. I fumbled for words and my eyes fell on the box I'd left on the counter. "I brought you something." Quickly, I dug through the haphazard jumble in the box and extracted a worn stuffed elephant. It had once been pink, but time had faded its worn fabric. The ears were ragged, the nose scuffed, and still Emily stared at it like it was a long lost treasure.

"Ellie!" She gasped after a moment and reached for it. "Oh, I haven't seen her in years! You had it all this time?"

I shrugged. "You left it at my house when you decided you were too big for her, remember?" I gestured at 'Ellie', seeing so clearly now the small girl who'd clung to her toy elephant, clutching it close to her chest whenever she spent the night with me.

Emily nodding now, her eyes glinting as she surveyed the toy in her hand. "I remember now. I didn't want to throw her away so I thought if I left her at your house, it wouldn't really be like getting rid of her. I knew you'd keep her safe for me, even if you thought it was stupid…" her voice trailed off.

"I thought you might want it now, you know, for the – " I gestured at her stomach, not finishing my sentence.

Emily seemed unable to speak. Uncomfortable with the way she was staring at me, I turned away and abruptly upended the box onto her kitchen table. "There's more – just some stuff I found in the attic that maybe you'll want now, to pass on. There was a whole box of stuff we used to play with." I gestured to it but she was staring at me now, her eyes glistening.

"Oh, Leah…thank you!" Her eyes became watery and she sniffled loudly. Tears were impending and I suddenly felt like I couldn't stand to see them.

"This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come." I turned towards the back door but Emily was closer. Quickly, she positioned herself between me and it.

"Please don't leave. I'm just a little emotional, I guess. Hormones, that's all. I've wanted to talk to you for so long." Her smile quivered at the corners. "Whatever you have to say to me, I'm ready to hear it."

I turned back to her, resigned. Emily waited for a moment and then sighed when I didn't break the silence. "Would you like some tea? I know you prefer coffee but we're out at the moment. Caffeine's not good for the baby." She flushed again slightly as she moved towards the stove.

I waited quietly as Emily filled the teapot and got it boiling, then fished two teabags down for us. She nodded at me to follow her to the table, then handed me my cup. I sipped at it in silence.

Finally, Emily sighed. "Should I start?"

I shrugged. "Go ahead."

Emily stared down at her cup for a long time. When she looked back at me, her dark eyes were damp. "You have no idea how sorry I am, Leah. For everything. Neither one of us ever wanted to hurt you."

I squeezed my eyes shut at her words. My fingers were clenched so tightly around the hot mug that I was afraid I might crack it. "What either of you wanted to do was irrelevant. You hurt me anyway."

"I know." Emily whispered. "And I know that having to hear about the marriage and the baby secondhand just makes it worse. I should have told you myself."

"Yes." My voice was flat. "You should have."

She flinched slightly and I sighed to myself. Everything was coming out wrong. I hadn't come here to hurl accusations but it was all I knew how to do. All I wanted to do. The regret that saturated her every word didn't stop them from cutting into me and rubbing salt into my wounds. I was ready for this to be over, to try to move on with my life, so why couldn't it just stop hurting? Why did looking at her have to burn so much?

"I have to go, Emily." I stood up from the table abruptly. "If I stay here, I'm going to say things…I'm going to hurt you. I don't want to do it anymore."

"Leah, don't." As if she'd anticipated my move, Emily was already on her feet too. "I have missed you so much. I know that you don't believe it, but not a day has gone by I haven't felt like a part of me was missing without you. You've always been my best friend. I want to make this right. Please give me a chance. I just want everything to be back the way it was."

"Well, it can't be!" I couldn't hold it back anymore. "You can't have it both ways, Emily. You can't just destroy my life, take the man I loved, and then wipe it away with a few apologies and a bucketful of tears. You are so selfish, you know that? You want everything. You want the fairytale, and the prince, and for me to smile and play my role in your happy little fantasy too. Sorry, but it doesn't work like that. I'm not going to pretend I'm OK just to make you feel better."

Emily bent slightly under my verbal onslaught, but her face was determined, as if she'd prepared for this and was determined to stick it out.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"Sorry? Sorry? Is that all you know how to say?" I couldn't seem to stop. My fingernails were digging into my palms; my body twisted towards the door, but I couldn't make myself move.

"What else do you want me to say, Leah?" Her voice was a pained whisper.

"Something else! Anything! Say something real, Emily. Tell me why. Make me understand." I clenched my fists tighter and felt the slight sting as my fingernails broke through skin.

Emily shook her head now, looking faintly bewildered. The flush had drained out of her warm skin and she looked suddenly gaunt; haunted. A part of me wept at what I was doing to her. Another, more feral part rejoiced every time she winced; gloating at being able to return some of the pain I'd been feeling for so long.

"You know why," she finally managed. "The imprint…Sam couldn't help what he felt for me. He couldn't stop it. He had no control."

"But you did!" I shoved myself away from the table, straightening up to fix my stare on her. "That's why I blame you, Emily, so much more than him. He was a slave to something that none of us really understand, but you… You were everything to me. I trusted you with everything I had. I never thought you'd be the one to take it all away."

Emily flinched. "That's not fair."

"Fair?" I spat. "That's one word you never get to use again. Not with me."

Emily shrank back, away from me and my wrath. She looked as though another word might break her in half. Her voice trembled. "I tried, Leah. I tried harder than you could ever imagine to resist him. I just couldn't help it."

"I know that." My own voice was quieter now. "I know you tried. But all that means to me in the end is that you chose him over me."

Emily shook her head in protest. "No, Leah!" Her voice cracked. "It's just…I love him."

I kept my voice a whisper now so she wouldn't hear it break. "What about me, Emily? To you, he should have been just another guy, not anyone you'd ever put before me. If it had been anyone else…but not you! Why did it have to be you that betrayed me? You were supposed to be the one person I could rely on. You were supposed to love me more."

Emily drew back, her chin trembling. "It's no good, is it? I was so sure if I could get you to talk to me, if I could explain, I could make you understand. I thought at least you'd go away a little more at peace, that you'd be able to see that I never wanted to hurt you. But I was only making myself believe that, like you said, just to make myself feel better." Abruptly, she sat back down at the table, looking defeated. "I know it won't make any difference to you, Leah, but after – "

She raised a hand to her face, touching her scars lightly. "After what happened that night, with Sam, all the fight went out of me. You weren't there. I knew I'd lost you. Even if I'd never gone to him, you would have never forgiven me. You were already starting to hate me for being the one he wanted, whether you admit it or not. And when you weren't there, Sam was. I should have hated him, but…he wanted me. He looked at me like I was the only woman on Earth and after everything, who else would have wanted me? Who else would have ever looked at me like I was still whole? Maybe I'm an awful person, but I couldn't face it all alone. I couldn't be that strong. Not like you." She was sobbing now.

I was turned away now, eyes closed, as her words chipped at my conscience. I still wanted to walk away, to slam the door behind me and let her drown in her own shame and regret. But the images of her throughout our lives were ingrained into my soul, the memories of how much we had shared, the bond that had been between us since before we could walk. It had always been the two of us, together, and I'd never been able to imagine my life without her, never even thought that either of us could commit a transgression that was enormous enough to change how much we'd meant to each other

I turned back and forced myself to look at her. "I'm not that strong, Emily. If I was, I'd be able to understand. I'd be able to forgive you."

Hesitantly, Emily reached across the table. I saw her fingers approaching mine, and I watched in slow motion for a moment, as if it were a scene in a movie that I had no control over. At the last second, just as our hands were about to touch, I yanked mine back. She jumped as if stung, the pain of rejection clear on her marred features.

I forced myself to speak again. "You think you know why I can't, but you don't. Maybe if it was just about Sam, it would be easier. The one thing I can never let go of is what the both of you brought out of me. You ripped me wide open. Everything that was rotten, everything that I buried as far down in me as it would go…it came out for everyone to see. I became someone I never wanted to be. I can't help but wonder if that's why. If it's the real reason…"

Emily looked bewildered. "The real reason for what?"

"The real reason why I wasn't the one he was destined to be with."

I wasn't looking at her now. I felt nauseous, as if the rot I'd tried to describe had become physical now, burning a hole in my abdomen. I stared down at the scratches on the table. Emily's chair creaked as she adjusted her position. "What are you talking about, Leah?"

I couldn't hide the tears now. They upended my will, gathering in my eyes and then overflowing onto my face.

"You can tell me anything." Emily's voice was calm now, soothing.

"I'm not blind, Emily. I know you. You tried to hide it, but you wanted him from the beginning. I saw it, and you're right, I hated you because he wanted you. I hated you more because you wanted him back, even though I saw that you were trying so hard to turn him away. I couldn't tell you it was alright, that I loved you both enough to let you be happy. I couldn't be that unselfish. Maybe if I had been, it all would have been different. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

A small gasp came from Emily as she realized what I was getting at. I flashed her a warning look when she tried to speak and she fell instantly silent again.

"You think that's bad? It's not the worst of it. When I heard that you were in the hospital, do you know what the first thought I had was? Just for a second…but it was enough. I hoped that you would die, Emily."

I took a gasping breath. "I wanted you to disappear. I wanted Sam back. I wanted my life back. What kind of person makes a wish like that? What kind of human being am I that I would want my own cousin to die? That's when I realized that maybe…maybe there was a reason Sam imprinted on you and not me. Maybe he sensed how rotten I was underneath it all. Maybe he knew I didn't deserve him, that I didn't deserve anyone. Now do you understand? If I ever hated Sam, if I ever hated you, it's nothing compared to how much I have hated myself."

Should I have felt relief, that I had finally confessed it, the true vileness that had festered in my soul so long? I didn't. As soon as the words left my mouth and I couldn't take them back, I felt drained, empty. It was as if confessing my sins and letting go of all the anger and mis-placed hatred I'd clung to for so long meant giving away all that I had, like there was nothing left of me without it. I closed my eyes and waited for Emily's condemnation.

"Leah," she whispered after a moment. "Look at me."

I opened my eyes and waited.

Emily took a deep breath and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. "So you resented me. So you wished for one second that you could have your life back. You know what that makes you? Human. Not evil. Not a monster."

The incomprehension I felt must have clearly shown on my face, because her voice became almost impatient. "Not only do you expect yourself to never exhibit any kind of weakness and spend months condemning yourself when you do, but as usual, you underestimate everyone who cares about you and our capacity to understand. You don't think I've ever been selfish or resentful? You think I never lie in bed at night and think about you and Sam? How everything that I share with him is something he's already experienced with you? How every bit of himself he gives to me is a piece he gave to you first? When he had the choice, he chose you. I had to be chosen for him. Sometimes I think maybe I could have hated you for being first but I don't want to feel that way. I won't drive myself crazy with what could have beens."

I shook my head as she slumped back into her seat, her rant apparently over. "I couldn't do that. I couldn't be accepting like you are."

Emily shook her head. "Of course not. It's not in your nature. You don't accept anything blindly." She sighed now, sipping at her tea and eyeing me over her cup. Something in my expression seemed to aggravate her, and her posture tensed again.

"You just don't get it, do you, Leah?" Emily turned in her chair to lock me in her sights. "You're so busy picking yourself apart and imagining what you lack. Even when we were growing up you never understood how loved you really are. I remember how you always thought your parents loved Seth more – "

"They did," I couldn't help but interject.

Emily shook her head, her dark eyes flashing. "No, Lee-Lee, they didn't. It's just that you demand so much! People like Seth, like me…we're straight-forward, easy to love. We want the simple things in life and we're happy with them. You're not like that. You never were. You've never been easy to please, always wanting more, needing so much, expecting the best parts of everyone..."

She sighed again. "Maybe that's the reason. You've tortured yourself thinking Sam couldn't be with you because there was something wrong with you. Perhaps it's a lot more basic then that. When Sam changed, his life became so much more complicated. He needed someone easy, someone whose life could revolve around him, and you could never be that, could you? You would have tried, for him. And it would have ruined you both. Can you look me in the face and tell me you truly want what I have? To be married and pregnant at twenty-one? Waiting at the door for Sam to come home? Keeping his dinner hot? Don't get me wrong. I love my life. But you've always wanted out of La Push, to go and make your mark on the world. To be bonded to Sam for the rest of my days is heaven to me. For you, it would have been a prison."

I couldn't speak. Instead I stared over her head out of the kitchen window, gazing at the blue sky beyond. I couldn't find the words to admit it, wasn't quite ready to let go of the lies I'd told myself for so long, but to myself I could say it. She was right. Now, more than ever, La Push surrounded me like a cage. For almost two years now, I'd told myself it seemed so empty to me, like such a trap, because I didn't have Sam, but what if I did? Would it really have made a difference or would I have just resented him for holding me here?

Emily opened her mouth to speak again when it became clear that I wouldn't, but the words never came. From the backyard, there came a horrendous, ear drum blasting sound….the noise of metal grinding; ripping. We were both frozen for a moment, and then we heard the footsteps thundering up the back porch.

The back door was ripped off the hinges and dropped to the floor, the glass in the tiny window shattering. Sam stepped over it, red faced with fury. His shirt was ripped, a half healed cut running jagged on his shoulder. Metallic dust covered him and I cringed slightly, imagining what the Camaro must look like now.

"DAMMIT, LEAH!" He roared, fists balled at his sides. "GET OUT OF MY –"

"SAM!" I nearly jumped a mile as Emily shot up from her chair, her voice almost as loud as his. "What do you think you're doing?!"

Sam paused in the act of stepping towards me. His furious expression lagged into something like shock when Emily glared at him. "I can't believe you! Leah and I were having a nice talk and you come bursting into my kitchen, screaming like you've lost your mind! Just look at the mess you've made!"

Her voice rose with her words, her eyes flashing. I watched her in near awe as she stomped across her tiny kitchen in agitation. I'd almost forgotten this side of her. Emily's temper was slow to ignite, but when it did her anger was unstoppable until it was completely vented, and woe to whoever was in her way.

Sam opened and closed his mouth several times before he managed to speak. "But Leah – "

" 'But Leah' nothing! Go back outside and let us finish our conversation in peace!" She pointed at the door. When Sam remained motionless she shot him an even more acidic glare. "Now!"

Sam's shoulders slumped. He turned, shooting one more baleful stare at me over his shoulder, and shuffled sheepishly past the wrecked door and stepped onto the porch.

"You will fix this door tonight!" Emily yelled after him as he disappeared from view. She turned back to me, hands still on her hips, her face exasperated. "Men!"

I looked from her to the empty doorway, slack jawed, and I felt it then, building inside my stomach, bubbling up until I had to let it out. I clasped a hand to my mouth but it was too late. The laughter escaped between my fingers and soon I was doubled over like Jake had been in the yard earlier, nearly howling with mirth, tears flooding my face.

Emily stared at me, astonishment and wariness mingling on her lopsided features. "Leah?"

"I'm sorry," I gasped, holding my stomach. "It's just that he's so…so…whipped!"

The side of her mouth twitched into a small, then bigger smile. After a moment she began to chuckle too. The sound of her amusement set me off again, as if all the laughter I'd missed out on for the past two years had been stored inside of me and had to get out. It took us both several minutes to calm down, gasping for breath and holding our sides.

Once the laughter had faded away, a stilted silence took its place. We stood there, searching for words that wouldn't come. I took a surreptitious peek at the clock. It was later than I thought, and I began to search my mind for a polite way to make my exit, to neatly package all the unspoken things I wanted to say and leave them behind as my final gift to her, for what she had meant to me over the years.

"So what happens now?" While I was lost in my thoughts, Emily broke the silence. "Where do we go from here?"

I took a deep breath. "I think we've come as far as we can together, Emily."

Emily's face crumpled slightly at that. She waited for the rest, though I suspected she knew what I'd say next.

"I'm leaving La Push."

Emily closed her eyes for a long moment. When she opened them her face was understanding. "Where will you go? Do you have a job? A place to stay?"

"Seattle, and yes, I have a job waiting for me. A place to stay will come later. If worse comes to worse, I'll phase and sleep in the woods."

Emily was shaking her head before the words were finished. "You can't –"

I stopped her. "I can, and I will. I'll be fine, but I can't stay here anymore. It's killing me. I'm sorry, Emily. I have missed you every bit as much as you've missed me, but we can't go back. We can't pretend none of this ever happened. I will always love you, but I can't be what I once was to you."

As I spoke, tears once again welled in Emily's eyes and made their way down her face.

"I'll miss you." She took a deep breath. "I know you'll be fine. It won't take you long to pull everything together. But it's hard starting out on your own. You'll need things…furniture, dishes, bedding…I can –"

I was already shaking my head but Emily narrowed her eyes at me.

"So we're not friends." The determined look had returned to her face even as she swiped at her wet cheeks. "But we are family, Leah, and families help each other. I know you'll never ask for it, but that doesn't mean you don't need it. So I'll coordinate with your mother, and as soon as you've got a place, we'll be there to help you get settled in. You can choose to like it or not, but I'm coming either way."

I couldn't help the small smile that appeared even as I shook my head. "They always said I was the stubborn one."

Emily smiled back. "I'm not giving up on you, Leah. I know that it may be naïve, even selfish, to ever hope that we'll ever have a bit of what we used to, but I'm going to try anyway. I want you in my life. I want my children to know you. I know it's a lot to ask but time is a great healer and you – well, you have more time than most. I can be patient."

Before I could even begin to think of how to respond to that, Emily stepped forward and gave me a lightning fast hug before I could object. "You take care of yourself, Leah."

"Yeah," I nodded. "You too." I hesitated. "All of you."

Emily's eyes were shining suspiciously again. It seemed like a good time to leave, before this could turn into a real kiss and cry session. I nearly ran out the back doorway, but as soon as I made it down the steps, Sam appeared. He crossed his arms as I groaned silently. Not that I had any objection to kicking his ass twice in one day, but I'd really hoped to be on the road by now.

"Is it my turn now?" His words were dry, without the fury I'd expected, especially since over his shoulder I could see the mangled remains of the Camaro he'd torn himself out of.

I looked at him and sighed. "What's the point, Sam? You know everything I would say. I've screamed it in your head a thousand times."

I brushed past him then, but stopped only a few strides away, turning around. "Look, you're not the Sam I fell in love with two years ago. You couldn't be what I needed now even if you tried. I know you've been trying to tell me that for a long time but I guess I needed to figure it out for myself." I ground the next words out through gritted teeth. "I'm sorry I made everything so much harder for you."

Sam nodded slowly. "You're not the only one. What you said, when you left the pack, about me wanting Emily but not wanting to lose you…you were right. You've been in my life so long. I wanted to keep you there. I know I didn't make things easy on you either. Letting Emily ask you to be a bridesmaid, keeping the Camaro, all those reminders I kept throwing at you…it was all a way of holding on and it hurt you more. I'm sorry too."

"Thanks," I whispered.

He jumped up onto the porch, and turned to look back at me, waiting. I swallowed hard before I spoke, but the words came easier than I'd expected.

"Goodbye, Sam." This time, when I walked away, I didn't look back.

I'd barely made it out of Sam and Emily's yard when I heard the footsteps hurrying behind me. I sighed and continued walking as he fell in step next to me.

"What do you want, Jake?"

"So, you're really leaving?" Jacob shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at me. Irritation flared at his blatant eavesdropping and then his question registered and guilt set in.

I winced slightly. "I guess I should have talked to you about it." I admitted after a moment. "I know I made a commitment to you, and to the pack, and I'm still a part of it. I mean, if you want me to be. "

"Of course I do." Jacob gave me a sideways glance. "We'll make it work. We just gotta stay in touch – do pack meetings long distance and all that."

"Thanks." I smiled faintly. "Seattle isn't that far off. I'll make sure I have access to places to run. I'll know if you guys need me and I'll come back."

Jacob nodded. "Good." He looked at me. "What about you? You're not alone in this, you know. You need us, we're there."

The automatic protest jumped to my lips but I forced it back. For a moment I was quiet, considering, and then I grinned. "You know, Jake, there actually is something I need. And you happen to be exactly the person to help me get it…

xXx

The sun made its final stand before dusk, beaming blindingly golden rays all around the small yard that I stood in. I shielded my eyes from the glare, standing in front of the clapboard white house, as Chief Swan struggled with the ancient garage door. Jake stepped forward to help him but it was already creaking open, hinges protesting loudly.

A cloud of dust escaped eagerly into the sunlight and dissipated. I coughed the remnants away and blinked as the rusty red truck came into view. Chief Swan waved a hand towards it. "There you go. Hasn't run in months though."

Jake was already popping open the lid. I turned to Charlie. "How much do you want for it?"

Charlie looked taken aback at my words. "No way, kid," he grunted after a moment. "If Jake can fix it, it's yours. It's just taking up room here anyway."

"I can't do that, Chief Swan, " I protested, mentally calculating how much I could put into purchasing the truck and any parts it may need.

"Oh, yes you can," Charlie crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't need the truck, Bella doesn't want it now that she's got her Ferrari, and you'd be doing us both a favor, taking it off our hands. Besides it's almost like we're…" he suddenly turned bright red. "Well, we're kinda like family now, aren't we?"

I paused in my mental calculations for a moment, taken aback. Oh. OH. He was talking about him and my mother. Did he say family? They were that serious? And if they were, that meant that Bella and I would be…we could be…too choked with horror to finish the thought, I cleared my throat.

"Well…thanks, Chief Swan. I appreciate it." I turned to Jake. "So how long is it going to take to get this up and running?"

My question was answered by the deafening cackle and subsequent roar of the engine. Charlie and I both jumped back in surprise and Jake leaned his head out of the cab, grinning.

"How did you do that so fast?" Charlie demanded.

Jake's grin widened. "Wasn't really anything wrong with it, except a few conveniently disconnected wires. I can't imagine how that could have happened." His tone turned sarcastic.

I groaned. "Edward. What a punk. If I was Bella, I would have staked him through the heart by now."

Jake climbed out of the cab, raising his voice to be heard over the continuing roar as he walked back to the open hood to double check the engine. "Stakes don't kill vampires," he said, unnecessarily patronizing.

"Yeah, but I'll bet they hurt like hell." I grinned and Jacob laughed as he slammed the hood shut. Even Charlie chuckled, despite his obvious blanch as we strayed into forbidden topics.

"Try her out, Leah." Jacob encouraged.

Eagerly, I climbed into the cab of the truck and immediately, my nose was assaulted by an all too familiar burn. I tried exhaling out of my mouth, but the scent was too strong. I gagged as I desperately cranked down the window, and stuck my head out, relieved to be breathing in vampire free air. Gah, it smelled like Edward had practically lived in there. I'd have to get a smudge stick from home before I left and burn out the stink and bad vibes.

Jacob laughed again at my expression. "You get used to it."

"No, thank you." I made a face at him. "Aside from the stench though, it's perfect."

"Excellent." Jacob looked pleased with himself. "Race you back to La Push?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not taking that sucker's bet. Speed is not this vehicle's strong suit." I patted the dashboard soothingly. "Don't feel bad, girl. You're still special to me."

Jake shook his head. "You're talking to a truck. It must be love."

I laughed, then I looked up at the darkening sky, and panic set in. "I have to go. Thanks, both of you. I really appreciate this." With a wave, I backed out of Charlie's driveway as fast as my new ride to freedom would go and within minutes was blazing a slow trail back to the reservation.

I was jumping out of the cab almost as soon as my truck had rolled to a halt in front of my house. To my great relief, my mother's car wasn't in the driveway. If I packed fast enough, maybe I could be gone before she got home. It was cowardly of me, I knew, but I already felt like I had splintered enough of my heart as I could handle for one day. Another goodbye could shatter me.

My hopes for a quick escape were short-lived. Just as I hauled my overstuffed bag off the bed, I heard the sound of my mother ascending the porch steps. As soon as she'd opened the door, she was calling out my name.

"Leah?" Her voice came closer as I sighed, straightening my shoulders and resigning myself to the inevitable. The sound of heels clicked up the stairs. "Charlie called. Why did you want – " Mom pushed open my door without knocking as she spoke, and was immediately silent. We stood, staring at each other, as she took in the bag over my shoulder and the suitcase at my feet.

"You're leaving." It wasn't a question. Mom's eyes slid from the evidence of my departure back to my face. "Why?" The question came out in a hoarse whisper.

"I have to." I dropped my bag and crossed my arms across my chest. Silently, I folded in on myself, an animal that curls up against an inevitable attack. She would have expected more of me than this running away and I had no doubt she was about to let me know exactly how much I was disappointing her.

Mom took a deep, shaky breath. "Where?" Her words were terse, unemotional, in stark contrast to the look on her face.

I matched her tone. "Seattle. I've got enough saved up to get me by for a while, and I've already got a job. Just a waitressing job, but it's a start. I'll get something better eventually. As soon as I can, I'm going back to school."

Mom closed her eyes. "What about the pack?"

"I've talked to Jacob too. Seattle's not far. If they need me, I can be back within an hour."

"I see." Mom's eyes opened, and I was horrified to see the tears gathering. I hadn't expected this. Anger, guilt, disappointment…that I could handle. But not grief, never her grief.

"What about us, Leah? Seth? Me? What if we need you?"

"Don't do this," I whispered. "Mom, please. I haven't been there for either of you for so long. This is better for all of us. Your life will be easier with me gone."

She locked her eyes on to me now, freezing me in her all seeing glare. "Don't ever say that. Say that you need to go, say you've always wanted to leave La Push, say you're sick of Sam and Emily being shoved in your face every where you go. Did you really think I wouldn't understand that? But don't put this on me. Don't ever say I wanted you to go."

I couldn't say anything to that except a shamefully mumbled "I'm sorry."

Mom exhaled a long breath. Abruptly, she ran a hand through her short hair, a nervous mannerism she'd done so seldom that I could mark every occasion she'd displayed it on the calendar of my life. She dropped her hand and sighed. "I knew you'd go someday but I didn't want it to be like this. I wanted to make everything better for you first, be there for you and get you past everything you've gone through these last few years. I wanted to take all the pain and doubt away so I could send you off free, with a smile, and I failed. I'm so sorry."

Abruptly, she reached for the purse that was still dangling at her side and unzipped it, pulling out her wallet. I stepped back automatically as she removed the cash that was in it and handed it out to me.

"No, Mom – "

"Take it, Leah. It's not much, but it's all I have on me. And this." She shoved the cash into my hand and closed my fingers over it, already removing her pen and checkbook with her other hand. She scribbled on the paper for a moment then handed it to me. "Put it in your account as soon as you can."

"You don't need to – "

"I do." Her tone brooked no argument. "I'm your mother. Let me take care of you, just this once. Please."

"Thanks, Mom," I mumbled as I shoved it into my pocket. "Look, I know you've tried to be there for me. I pushed you away on purpose and I'm sorry for that. I just have to find my own way now."

Mom just nodded and then reached out, hugging me tightly. "You keep in touch. You'll always have a home here, you know that." She blinked rapidly as she pulled away.

I could only manage a small nod at that. My throat was so tight, I couldn't speak, but she seemed to understand.

Mom helped me bring the rest of my stuff to the truck, making a half-hearted attempt to get me to stay the night and go in the morning. It didn't go over well, and she didn't push. I think she realized how long I'd been waiting for this. She did, however, get me to stay for dinner, luring me with her wily culinary ways. After she'd stuffed me to the gills with as much meat and potatoes as I could consume in one sitting, we said a quick, unemotional goodbye. My tears I would keep for later. I was my mother's daughter, after all.

Hopping back into the truck after the hour long delay was a jolting experience. The vampire smell seemed to be even worse, if possible. I ended up having to run back inside for a smudge stick. It helped, but not enough. I could only hope that the funk would fade with time and fresh air.

By the time I hit the freeway, the sky had turned azure. Driving at night had its advantages…with my werewolf advanced eyesight, the darkness was no problem and traffic was light. I pushed the truck as far as it would go, feeling my spirits soar higher and higher with each mile. I was going…I was free. I could do anything…go anywhere…Seattle was only the beginning.

I needed some music to go with my near euphoric mood. I hadn't realized what a nice stereo/CD player combo Bella had in her – no, my truck now. I felt another twinge of guilt for not insisting that I pay Charlie for it, but shrugged it off. It was probably a gift from her bloodsucker, anyway. I leaned forward, keeping one hand on the wheel, and dug through the bag at my feet. After several seconds I extracted the CD I was looking for and put it on. A beat later Janis Joplin filled the air. I cranked up the volume and settled in for the drive.

At first I thought the incessant beeping was part of the background music but after a minute, when the songs changed and the music continued, I realized my mistake. No, the electronic beeping sounded just like the tone that sounded when someone got a text on their phone. Except I didn't have a cell phone.

I turned down the music, craning my neck and trying to find the source. After a few seconds of listening, I reached over and pulled on the cracked door of the glove compartment. It opened easily – much easier than it should have after sitting unused in the Swan garage for months.

Inside sat dust covered road maps, a stained rag…and a shiny, silver cell phone, brand new surface sparkling up at me. I picked it up warily and looked at the text screen. My own name jumped out at me.

Sorry, Leah. Nessie made me do it.

J.

Jacob? What the hell was he talking about? I was still staring at the phone when suddenly it vibrated in my hand, a loud ringtone sounding. I jumped in surprise and nearly dropped it as it continued to sound.

I considered ignoring it but finally, I pressed the answer button and put it to my ear. Might as well nip this shit in the bud as fast as possible.

"What?" I snarled. The unfriendliness in my reply seemed to be no detriment. Immediately a familiar, sped up chipmunk voice began to chirp in my ears.

"Leah! Daddy bought me and you cell phones! We can call each other all the time now! Thank you for the book! Are you in Seattle yet? Do you like it? Do you have a place? Daddy says when you get a place we can come and visit – "

I clicked the phone off, dazed by her rapid fire questions, and then irritation surged within me. This was all Edward's fault! Who did that pushy parasite think he was? There was a reason I was burning rubber on the freeway, trying to get the hell out of Dodge and as far away from his creepy band of freaks as possible. Did I really need a 'don't write, don't call' disclaimer when it came to his spoiled hellspawn too?

The phone went off again and I swore loudly. I rolled down my window, and after checking my rear view mirror for cops, I hurled the phone from the speeding truck. It flew across the lanes and smashed into a roadside tree. I watched in the side mirror as it exploded into a thousand pieces behind me, and a satisfied grin settled on my face. That should be the end of it.

Almost as soon as the grin had bloomed on my face, it faded into an expression of horror when I heard it. Somewhere in the cab, another cell phone was ringing. What. The. Hell?!

Abruptly, I jerked the truck to the side of the road and smashed the brake down, wishing it was Sparkle Vamp's face under my foot instead. With a muted growl I twisted my self out of the driver's side and crawled over the seat. Another search of the glove compartment turned up nothing. I made myself still, calming my aggravated breathing, and listened, closing my eyes.

Five seconds later, I opened my eyes and leaned over, reaching under the passenger seat. Almost instantly, my fingers connected with cool plastic. This cell phone was duct taped to the bottom of the seat. I pried it loose, leaned out the passenger side window, and hurled it as far as I could. It hit the ground and flipped impressively until it smashed into a large rock. The ringing stopped abruptly.

"Ha!" I grinned, pleased with myself. With that, I climbed back into the driver's seat, switched CDs, and was off again. The wind blew through the cab as I drove, ruffling my hair as I sang loudly along with Tom Petty. "And I'm freeee! Free fallin'…"

From somewhere above me, the ringing began anew.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I nearly screamed the words as I looked up to see a third cell phone taped to the roof of the cab above my head. Swearing worse than I had since the third grade, when I'd decided to try out every bad word I knew on a girl who'd hit me with a volleyball in gym and ended up eating a bar of Ivory soap for my troubles, I yanked it down. It blinked up at me insidiously, the screen flashing as its annoying jingle sounded yet again. R Cullen, the Caller ID display read. Ridiculous.

The window was already down, and I was ready to send this phone after the others, but somehow I couldn't stop staring at that display. A moment later, I flipped the phone open.

"Ren? Dammit, don't you ever go to bed? I'm trying to drive here!"

Her high-pitched voice went quiet immediately. She hadn't hung up though – I could hear her slightly hitched breathing on the other line. Either I had hurt her feelings or she was playing me. I strongly suspected the latter. I had to admit, it was a bit funny.

"Look…I'll call you in the morning, OK?" I almost couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth. I hung up on Ren's enthusiastic reply and after a moment's hesitation, shoved the phone into my pocket.

OK, so maybe I was the world's biggest sucker. But what could I say?

Just this once, it was nice to be wanted.


End file.
